Alphabestiary

[Tinker]

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Greek Verse, the beginnings.

The Alphabestiary a type of Acrostic or more specifically an Alphabet poem, which dates back to Greece in the 2nd and 3rd centuries but truly came into its own in medieval England. There is no required line length, meter, or rhyme scheme. The only requirement is that each letter of the alphabet is described poetically as an animal or in human terms. In medieval times illustrations of the animals accompanied the poem. It is a stylized variation of the Bestiary or Physiologus.

Lions, Tigers and Bears by Judi Van Gorder

Alluring Abalone, Mother of Pearl, sea's acclaim                                           Bright Bluebirds, happiness chortling a song, Chirping Cicada, singing its way to fame, Dramatic Dolphins sleek and strong. Energetic Elands roam plains and plateaus, grazing in peace or running from foes. Freaky frogs freely hop round bog, Great Gulls, fearless flying in fog. Hovering Hummingbirds, still in mid-air Irritated Iguana hisses to scare. Jiggly Jellyfish grace with a sting, Krikey Koalas climb trees and cling. Lithe Leopard, spots disguise the wise,

Mama Manatee's girth, a sea cow's worth, Nature's Nightingales serenade 'til sunrise. Odd Ostrich, buries head in earth Picky Penguins mate for life Quick Quagga, extinct and can't find a wife. Raped Rhinoceros horns make thieves prosperous, Slick Sea lions slip away from seas phosphorous. Theatrical Toucan bright yellow and green, Unseen Unicorn, fabled protector queen Venatic Vulture, carrion, seeking dead, Watchful Whale nurses, mother-child bond, Xanthic Xoni's horn frozen to Pakistani pond. Youthful yapok, black and white striped head, Zealous Zopilote, black bird of dread.

Alphabestiary by Frank Gibbard

A Respect aardvark Not first up on ark, But by dint of a b c Is in every dictionary. B Be wary on meeting a genuine bear Better by far if you can to forbear - Best not be gulled by its Teddy Bear looks, The barefaced depiction of forests of books. C Cats are their very own best friends Their comfort over all transcends. The only reason they let us stay, Unfed they'd up and run away. D Dog is man's best friend so they say In essence just a wolf gone tame That saw in life an easier way When into our homes it happily came. E Eagles have had the highest billing As national symbols in Rome and the States Appropriate efficient machine for killing Predator assassin: one of the greats. F Fox is wily, fox is cunning Always hunted, ever running. G The zoo enclosure held no gnu The keeper knew not what to do, Any animal's bad to lose But no Gnus is even worser news. H Hound alphabetically goes after fox Which parenthetically is how it gets off its rocks. I  A zoo ibex though knowing It's just a goat Is inwardly glowing With cause to gloat It snoots at the average common creature Without an "x" to boast as a notable feature But vexing this ibex, and how His life now stinks, Next cage they're annexing now An exasperating lynx. J Jaguar A car And more: A carnivore. K An Aussie koala bear, Being astutely self aware Knows it's not a bear And will tell any oiks who Seem to think it's bloody funny To proffer pots of honey: "Streuth mate! I'm not bleeding Winnie The Pooh."

L Llama a bit like a camel But flat backed with no lump Known abroad not near so well Is likely to get the hump And morph into the queen of drama If confused with the Dalai Lama. M M is for man And also for monkey In terms Darwinian We're much the same, thunk he. N The Australian numbat despite the "bat" Is not a flying beast And among things suffixed thus Is probably known the least . But brighter than ding, You wouldn't call it a kick-it failure Though your num trails behind After wom, fruit and cricket In its native home Australia. O Oh the okapi Has a name that rhymes with happy And I hear a tongue, such a lucky break That sinuously like a snake Your okapi chappy insinuates and steers Into the crevices of its ears. Thereby, effectively clearing The aural fluff that'll Tend to muffle hearing. P Porcupines by Nature's deft designs Protected against their enemy by deadly spines Which lay a minefield for the sexual act Unless approached with utmost tact The simple business of reproduction Paw-played by careful introduction Of one to the other, a precise seduction Before attempted impregnation While risking thus a painful prick Porcupines pull off their prickly trick Of prestidigitation. Q Quail in bird terms is small potatoes Its political namesake is too And when it comes to spelling potato That's something Dan Quayle could not do. R Reindeer antlers From the Laplands Headgear transplanted Into hatstands. S Skunk and swine Both terms of abuse But the progenitors of these names Are inheritors of philological misuse If I may so humbly opine.

That this natural punk when threatened stunk Can hardly be denied But herbal skunk inhales well in flames Or so I heard implied. Revere swine as the class porcine Deify their meat as it eats divine. or A young but short-sighted suburban snake looked around for a suitable date to take, he thought he'd found a willing girl around whom he threw a sensuous curl but sadly not seeing what he tried to propose would have no appeal to a garden hose. T Ageing tiger turning white Dozing through the long long night Whatever power made you wither May seem a sort of Indian giver, Blake's divine description does not say Each mighty tiger loses sway. U If you were a modern Noah And a flood occurred Would you put up an umbrella bird? V Vegetarians are as strange birds As you are like to meet, They seem to think that sausages Should not contain any meat, Though bangers were made for the likes of us So we might feel replete. Why can't they find their own bleeding names For what they choose to eat? W The wolf is a slavouring and predacious beast Seeking fresh flesh on which he'd just love to feast But this wolf-man lets down his much better bred males And in pursuit of his desires often letches and fails. By contrast real wolves rarely stray from their lairs Inclined by fair Nature to bond in tight pairs X You never find the xenopus toad Around an X ray fish; One inhabits a dry abode The other's somewhat wettish. Y It's no Shangri La for the yak A beast of burden Tibetans pack With prodigious loads on its straining back Oh put upon yak, alas alack. Z The enclosures and cages of a zoo Are like the pages of an Animals Who's Who From aardvark to zebra exotic fauna are filed In our attempt to incarcerate the wild