Trail of Dreams

[Tinker]

 Trail of Dreams

My dream song begins as shadows in the dark.
Far off through a misty cloud of restless sleep,
a distant spark
subdued and soft in the fog of midnight deep.
And so I creep into the clouds of my mind
to seek, to find.   

Black, grey and white give way to light
at first merging into blues in flight
then spreading wide
with rainbow colors for my golden guide.
There is a river and emerald hills before me,
beckoning, "be free".    

It's now up to me to choose the dreamscape path
into the forest, city streets, the sea, or just fly.
Explore or play,
I'll solve a mystery or splash in this birdbath,
the possibilities are as endless as the sky
Wake or stay?  
                           ~~Judi Van Gorder

Dreamsong

[badger11]

hi Tink,

          I noticed the Berryman poem in the reference section a few days ago. Interesting how a poet finds a 'form' that fits. As if the form is waiting to be discovered by the poet that needs that framework.

Quote

I'll solve a mystery or splash in a birdbath,

I thought that conveyed the invention of a Berryman line.

Quote

I'll solve a mystery or splash in this birdbath,

For immediacy and location? Just a thought.

enjoyed

badge

 

[tonyv]

I haven't read a lot of Berryman's Dream Songs, but I have read a few and liked them and their form. I think this is an ambitious write, and I'm excited that you've take it on.

It's all appealing, but I think the part which transports me the most is,

On ‎9‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 11:18 AM, Tinker said:

Black, grey and white give way to light
at first merging into blues in flight
then spreading wide ...

I love it!

Tony

[Tinker]

Thank you Tony, This one that just sort of took off and wrote itself with a little editing from me. Once I decided to write a Dream Song I didn't really have to think about where the journey was taking me, just when was the short line going to happen and what pattern the rhyme would take. Yes I've come back and edited a few times as I had time to think about what and how I had written but I initially I wrote it in a very short time and when I read it I get excited about how it turned out. ~~Judi

[JoelJosol]

Tinker, I read the footnotes on Dream Song. Then, I went back to your poem. Your poem has more structure and coherence. The three images - cloud, river, and path - bring it together as one story moving forward. There is minimal discord. The example in the footnote shows the discordance in trying to embrace other images with the Lady subject who keeps popping back into the forefront of attention.  
But aside from that, the impression that your poem gave me is psychedelic. I like the same lines that Tony mentioned, other than the colors, it is their musical sound.

[Tinker]

Thanks Joel.   You are right, most dream songs are the images from a single disconnected dream.  My poem uses the frame and uses "dreams" as a theme but it is more a general description of how a dream can progress.   

~~Tink