Tepkunset

[Tinker]

Tepkunset, She Who Walks in Moonlight Time was, only the people hunted here, every blade of grass had meaning. Prayer was a walk in the moonlight, kindness was given to the earth, until the big canoes came from across the waters. Noise from their fire sticks brought thunder to our land, sadness sat with the fever they spread. Elders made powwow to stop the threat, tokens were exchanged and treaties made.  Spring  blossomed in the earth’s way hope opened its heart, eager to marry new ways with the old ones. Wistful and curious,  her watchful eyes blinded, a young girl obscured herself in the night. Waiting to steal into their camp and see the future for herself, longing replaced wisdom keen to touch shining trinkets and pots of metal. Instead of the sparkle of sunlight, nocturnal shadows played before her. Moonlight shone off her midnight hair, only the hoot of an owl nearby, could be heard. Listening with her spirit, instinct born of time, with grace, caution returned. She happened upon a broken war lance,  turned and walked home led by the moon.                              ~~Judi Van Gorder Acrostic

[badger11]

The voice took me into your poem Tink, tone and pitch set an authentic feel to the narrative.

Prayer was a walk in the moonlight

A lovely thought

Phil

[Tinker]

Tsunami, Thank you so much.  it is a far piece from its original intent but sometimes a poem takes its own path.

~~Tink.

[Tinker]

 

2 hours ago, badger11 said:

The voice took me into your poem Tink, tone and pitch set an authentic feel to the narrative.

Badge, I appreciate those words. i am so glad I could convey authenticity.  I so admire the culture.

2 hours ago, badger11 said:

Prayer was a walk in the moonlight

A lovely thought

You don’t have to be Native American to experience this.  Be open the the spirit and take a walk in the moonlight, it is a given. I much prefer natural prayer to praying someone else’s words while kneeling on aching knees. 😇

~~Tink

[dr_con]

Seasonal, topical and just really good! Enjoyed and TY!

Juris

[Tinker]

Ah, thanks Juris.

[tonyv]

How appropriate with the Thanksgiving (US) holiday weekend. I know there are disagreements as to what the day historically represents, but this poem presents a remarkably balanced perspective.

The poem is very well composed. There's not a wasted word or a word out of place. A pleasing read -- I loved it.

Tony

[Tinker]

😊  Tony, my Like button.  Thanks.  ~~Judi 

[A. Baez]

You certainly carried off the acrostic on an extended scale--except, what is that "a" doing where I'd expect an "s" in S2, L1? That could easily be fixed by popping "Spring" to the beginning of the line. For my taste, the first two stanzas felt too much like a string of Native American tropes, but things start revving up and finding a unique voice in S3. I really enjoyed following Tepkunset on her journeys from here to the end of the poem, even though I'm not sure what her story is or how the episodes you describe reflect it. There are some nice distinct images here, like the "shining trinkets and pots of metal" and the quick contrast of sparkling sunlight with nocturnal shadows. I find the language in these stanzas effective in their simplicity and sincerity, evocative of Native American legends. The last two lines were really powerful. 

[Tinker]

3 hours ago, A. Baez said:

--except, what is that "a" doing where I'd expect an "s" in S2, L1? That could easily be fixed by popping "Spring" to the beginning of thewinter line.

A.B., Thanks for the catch. It originally began with Spring but the edit to include winter got in there and I played with placement and forgot the acrostic. Haha.

This began simply as a traditional Thanksgiving tale but i thought i’d create it through an native American word. When i fount Tepkunset I had to use the name and the setting and tone somehow changed. i followed its lead.

~~Tink

 

 

 

[A. Baez]

Tinker, that was my guess as to what happened with that line! It certainly is quite a feat to create such a long acrostic that sounds coherent and natural, which this one does. I believe this is the longest acrostic I've ever seen. I love the concept of viewing the story of Thanksgiving through native eyes, though I see how this poem diverges from that initial concept. I'm going to have to look up Tepkumset's legend now to fill in that knowledge gap of mine and see how this story fits in with the Thanksgiving one. 

(By the way, I hope you saw my reply to your last comments to me on "Witches' Brew." You had a lot of interesting things to say, and I didn't want you to think they were overlooked or unappreciated. ☺️)

[Tinker]

 

 

5 hours ago, A. Baez said:

to look up Tepkumset's legend 

There is no legend, I made it up. I wanted to expand but I ran out of room. The name is real, I found it in Native American girl’s names.

I’m not sure, I’ll check on Witches Brew, Sometimes I don’t respond to a reply on older works to prevent bumping the poem back to the top of the page.  

~~Tink