Omar013 Posted November 27, 2021 Share Posted November 27, 2021 No tears , no fears , no light, But your heart is gushing sun. Melancholy tune in the dust Covered. And the dreamy tide is foaming Wishes. A scent makes the pluses seen, And every morn a new summer. Eyes as the ocean deep and life-beating As lovers' Not just hoping , but a stinging dream and Sweaty prayers. Not a stilling leaf ,but a growing flower. Glory end and endless nights , a golden Frame varnishing the meretricious picture. The seeking of new ,the sight of the bird, The novel morrow and the spring that borrowed seraphic feathers for his Meadows. Fangled day for us , unused to sow Many a colored rose , many a perfume and Many more...., forevermore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 Built-in to this, there is a sense of timelessness that spans cultures and civilizations. You use some heartfelt words and themes that transcend time, that honest humans can relate to: "'sweaty' prayers," the "frame varnishing the 'meretricious' picture," and the "'fangled' day for us." Personally, I can feel it, especially when you round it out with "forevermore." Omar, this is good work very much to my liking. I know you also posted some topics in the Workshop which I haven't gotten to. I hope to get to them soon. Tony 1 Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar013 Posted November 29, 2021 Author Share Posted November 29, 2021 @tonyv thank you very much, glad you felt it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted December 11, 2021 Share Posted December 11, 2021 HI Omar, I hope it isn't too late to welcome you to the forum. Glad to have such a fresh, imaginative voice among us. I found the following lines particularly compelling: On 11/27/2021 at 2:10 AM, Omar013 said: No tears , no fears , no light, But your heart is gushing sun. . . . And the dreamy tide is foaming Wishes. . . . Not just hoping , but a stinging dream and Sweaty prayers. . . .spring that borrowed seraphic feathers for his Meadows. . . . Thanks - Dave 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar013 Posted December 12, 2021 Author Share Posted December 12, 2021 @David W. Parsley thanks for your commentary. I really appreciate the time you spent reading the poem and I am really glad that you liked those lines. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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