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I saw the sun on a blind day


Omar013
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Omar013

Pigments of truth hurt the wounds.
Hands from the dirt attempting to catch
The light
And hope is mysteriously rouge
I saw the sun on a blind day


Ribbons of smoke and ashes on the
Tip of the flashes
Beyond the mask there are eyes
Remissly unsighted
This is the moment I penetrat through
The crevices of yours
And a bundle of my heart pulses ,that
Kept drowning ,a Symphony clamored
I saw the sun on a blind day

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13 hours ago, Omar013 said:

Ribbons of smoke and ashes on the
Tip of the flashes
. . . . .
I saw the sun on a blind day

Love this imagery and sound. 
 

13 hours ago, Omar013 said:

Beyond the mask there are eyes
Remissly unsighted
This is the moment I penetrate through
The crevices of yours
And a bundle of my heart pulses, that
Kept drowning, a Symphony clamored
I saw the sun on a blind day


 Is there such a word as "remissly"?   Well there is now and it works. 

Nice,  ~~Tink

 

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~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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JoelJosol

From a technical viewpoint, I also love the musicality, enjambment, and rhythm of the poem.

I tried to check if this poem is accessible, comprehensible. Omar gave several concrete words - wounds, hands, eyes, crevices and bundle - lined up against abstractions - truth and hope. I am not sure if the poem is intentionally not coherent. The main meat, in my opinion, is the part where the speaker penetrates the crevices of the other, and the physical reaction of the speaker. Not sure how that relates to seeing the sun in a blind day. 

 

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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